Creation

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Various aspects of creation tend to blow me away at different times in my life.  It amazes me how intricately designed various things are.  Take me, for instance.  I’m a 5″7′ being made up mainly of water and carbon… but the parts that aren’t water and carbon are so important in the overall make-up.  And beyond the chemical composition of my being, I have the ability to think, grow, feel, CHANGE.  The things that make me the unique person I am go beyond the script written in my double-helixes.  The choices I make, the thoughts I think, the fact that I can learn and adapt and evolve, all of these aspects of life are so amazing to me.  I mean, we can make “artificial intelligence.”  We can pre-program machines to “think” and to “react” and even to grow and adapt.  But they will always lack the complex system that makes ME me.  The ability to weigh in feelings, to give in to my sometimes overwhelming stubbornness, or to react with compassion even though that might not be the wisest decision all around.  It’s really quite a thought.

I started this all to say that it amazes me the way the whole process works.  And to keep that process going, certain things are needed.  Oxygen for our lungs and bloodstream; water and food for our energy levels; protection from the elements for our oft-time too fragile shells; adequate sleep and exercise for the refueling of our bodies; love for the feeling of purpose; hope for the continuation of life.

And it’s amazing to me when you are lacking some of the basic basics, that the more evolved basics are hard to accept, even if they’re present.  Take for example, my frustrating need to sleep ALL THE TIME!  Whether it’s psychological or physical, my body FEELS like it needs to sleep.  Almost every hour of every day.  And when I’m not sleeping, I’m tired.  Really tired.  It makes me quite irritable.  And irrational.  I’d rather sleep than eat… I don’t get the right amount of nutrients or exercise that I need.  And I irrationally feel I lack love or hope, which is SOOOO not the case.  But if I let myself, I can really spiral downwards… into points where I don’t even want to TRY to get out of bed.

And it just goes to strengthen my idea that there is something wrong with me.  Not that I IN TOTALLITY am messed up (which is a new thing for me to realize) but that there is something wrong, and it needs fixed. 

I just wish we could figure out what it is and get it fixed.

I’m becoming very frustrated.  And frustrated Kara is not a pretty sight.

You are so good to me

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It is absolutely amazing to me how faithful our God is.  You’d think by now that I’d stop being so shocked when He shows up, but I’m not.  Not that I think that’s a totally bad thing.  I think we’re probably suppossed to maintain a sense of awe and wonder when encountering Him no matter how long He’s been with us.  It does make me feel so silly that I’m so distrustful of Him, however.  But I know I’ll probably be there again someday.

So I thought I’d jot down some reasons I remember right now that He’s so faithful.

  • He never leaves.  No matter how abandoned I feel by friends, family, and the rest of the world, He’s always there.  Even when I’m trying to ignore Him.
  • He’s omnipresent.  I know that seems like the same thing, but it struck me as such an amazing thing last night that, everything we go through, He’s there.  He goes before us, to prepare the way.  He walks beside us to help us through.  And He walks behind us to catch us when we fall.  That’s an amazing thing.
  • Our weaknesses provide opportunities to completely glorify God.  Because it is only with HIS strength that we can overcome our times of weakness.  If we din’t have times of weakness and strife we would not have the opportunity to see Him so clearly in his Strength and Glory.
  • There is nothing as beautiful as people who love God coming together with the common goal of expressing that love and devotion in worship.  At least nothing that is not God himself.

Last night I had the privledge of worshipping and praying with friends and brothers and sisters in Christ.  And it was a powerful thing.   I also had the opportunity to pray very specifically for some wonderful women in my life.  I think even as a community of young people who love Jesus, we don’t take every opportunity we have to invite God to walk before us, with us, and behind us.  And I think we miss out on a lot by not taking those opportunites.  God is going to be the same, yesterday, today, and tomorrow.  But our actively seeking Him changes US, and it’s the most powerful change we can experience.

I was able to remember a lot of the Hope I have last night.  And Hope is such a precious thing; such a necessary thing in my life right now.

Blessed Be Your Name

Blessed be Your name

In the land that is plentiful

Where Your streams of abundance flow

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name

When I’m found in the desert place

Though I walk through the wilderness

Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out

I’ll turn back to praise

When the darkness closes in, Lord

Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name

When the sun’s shining down on me

When the world’s all as it should be

Blessed be Your name

Bleassed be Your name

On the road marked with suffering

Though there’s pain in the offering

Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out

I’ll turn back to praise

When the darkness closes in, Lord

Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away

You give and take away

My heart will choose to say

Lord, Blessed be Your name

You give and take away

You give and take away

My heart will choose to say

Lord, blessed be Your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your glorious name

From Jr. 2 Camp

July 30, 2007

 

11:32 pm

 

Well, it will be interesting posting this when I get around to posting it.  I can’t find a wireless network right now as I’m in a girls dorm at LSCA camp.  It’s 11:15 and I’m the “dorm mom” for Jr. 2 week at camp.  There are about 30 girls here.  I’m currently keeping my eye (and ear) on a couple of rooms because the teenagers get to be out until 11:59 tonight and one of the rooms only has teenagers J

 

I didn’t really get to do camp when I was younger.  I went one year to a Methodist based camp towards southern Illinois.  The name escapes me right now, though I think it might have started with a B.  It was a music week and most of the activities for the week revolved around getting ready for the musical we would perform for the adults at the end of the week.  It was a big camp with lots of kids and we had individual cabins, not individual dorm rooms within cabins like here.  I don’t remember all of that week, but I thought it might be fun to remenence about it:

 

  • Every night the boys from one of the boys cabins would come around to every girl cabin and serenade us with “Goodnight, Sweetheart” and every morning they would wake us up with a song from our musical called “Wake Up”
  • The Musical was about Jesus feeding the multitudes and had fish in it’s title
  • I remember only a couple of songs:  Wake Up, All Things Bright and Beautiful, and most of Andrew
  • Tracey, Becky, and Jennifer were the three girls I knew there besides Jo.  We barely talked to any of them
  • We played Little Mermaid in the pool
  • We would have to “trot” at various meals (get ready, serve, clean-up).  That sucked in the morning.
  • I had a really bad asthma attack the night before the performance.
  • It was REAL hot the day of the performance…
  • We have the performance on tape
  • Learning to play “Mrs. Mumble”

 

And that’s it.  Those are the only real vivid memories I have of that week.  Well, really, memories at all.  I don’t even have vague images of other things J

 

I’m realizing the church camp is a bit of a different type of thing.  I grew up going to Sunday school and, since I have the type of mind that likes to learn, I’ve caught on to a lot of the “normal” stories pretty quickly since becoming a Christian.  But I’m realizing that a lot of the things in the “Christian” world can be real hard on people who don’t have or didn’t have that kind of exposure when they were young.

 

Take “sword drills.”  The point of these drills is for the kids to find the bible passage the quickest.  Of course the kids who have been doing this all their lives find it the quickest.  They know the difference between 1st Corinthians and 1st Chronicles.  They know there are 2 testaments and that the Old Testament is the longer of the two.

 

But those here who’ve not had real exposure to Christianity have no clue.  And though they are encouraged to learn because of the drills, the get DISCOURAGED very easily.  It’s hard to cram 11 years of learning into 4 days.  When you took your bible out of it’s WRAPPER for the first time on the first sword drill it’s easy to get overwhelmed when you watch the majority of those around you jumping to the right passage right away.

 

And while I want to really encourage the kids who do know they’re stuff to keep it up, it’s hard to find a balance between providing enrichment for “Christian” kids and encouragement and a welcoming aire for the “newbies.”  I used to be the bitter kid who was always just a step behind.  I know how easily feeling discouraged can turn to feeling embittered. 

 

On a positive note, I’ve loved getting to experience camp, even as a grown up.  It’s been loads of fun!  I’m pretty exhausted, but I’ve gotten to meet some pretty neat girls. 

 

And some pretty neat teenagers.

 

And some pretty neat adults.  Mike’s sister, Dottie, is here this week.  She is SOOO fun.  She seems so real and authentic.  I’m looking forward to getting to know her better.

 

Well, this is me, signing off.  Sorry ya’ll won’t get to read about this for awhile, but that’s how it goes sometimes J

 

Peace.