Secret Life is back on the air!!! I love this show. It’s corny with not so great acting, however the issues are real. I love that. Tonight Adrienne does her absolute best to keep Grace from having sex for the first time and told her mom and her dad (who is married to someone else) to move in together. I love that everyone is messed up and struggling with the same things. Grace, the uber-Christian, who “feels” like having sex and can try to jutify herself… I love how frank the conversations are…
and I feel kind of like a schlump that I’m having the same kind of issues, but the thing I really like about it is the adults have the same issues… they’re a little different, however just as real and frank…
I really like it 
June 8th: Industry/Macomb
June 9th: Industry/Macomb
June 10th: Industry/Springfield
June 11th: Springfield/Springfield
June 12th: Springfield/St. Louis Karen’s Party
June 13th: St. Louis/Home for Weekend
June 14th: Home for Weekend
June 15th: Minier/Lincoln
June 16th: Minier/Lincoln
June 17th: Minier/Lincoln
June 18th: Minier/Lincoln
June 19th: Minier/Springfield
June 20th: Home for Weekend/Relay for Life
June 21st: Relay for Life/Springfield
June 22nd: Minier/Lincoln
June 23rd: Minier/Lincoln
June 24th: Minier/Lincoln
June 25th: Minier/Springfield
June 26th: Springfield/Move Weekend
June 27th: Move Weekend
June 28th: Move Weekend
June 29th
June 30th
A wise woman once told me that to hate change was to hate life. I always remember that when life is changing and I’m having a hard time adjusting to that. It’s a bit different with a job where I’m gone a lot from home. And its a bit different making decisions that don’t always line up with what other people in your life expect of you, especially when they’re people you really love and respect. As I write that I realize that it would make sense just to take their advice… lol… yeah, we don’t really always do what makes sense, do we? I respect so much that they have such conviction and strength of character to be who they are and stand strong to their beliefs. I wish…. I was going to say I wish I were that strong, but really, I just wish I had that firm of a foundation of belief. I think that’s where I’m falling short… it’s easy to change points of view or make decisions that seem contrary to a point of view when the foundation’s not that strong.
I don’t know. I love Jesus. I really do, but I do have trouble trusting some times… most times…
So, I’m loving this new job. But it’s got a totally crazy schedule. I had every intention of blogging about cool things going on as I travel, but I can’t talk about my job and I’m wiped by the end of the day, so I either do more work or sleep when I get back to the hotel room.
So I’m going to start with just updating my itinerary
April 13-April 19
Monday: Bloomington (overnight)
Tuesday: Bloomington (overnight)
Wednesday: Bloomington (overnight)
Thursday: Bloomington (overnight)
Friday: Bloomington (home for weekend)
Saturday-Sunday: Home
April 20th-April 26:
Monday: Bloomington (overnight)
Tuesday: Bloomington (home: evening)
Wednesday: Mt. Zion (overnight)
Thursday: Mt. Zion (overnight)
Friday: Mt. Zion (home for the weekend)
Saturday-Sunday: Home
April 27-May 3
Monday: Mt. Zion (home in evening)
Tuesday: Travel to Chicago and telework from Chicago
Wednesday: Chicago
Thursday: Chicago and Travel home
Friday: Springfield Field Office
Saturday-Sunday: Home
May 4-May 10
Monday: Anchor (Bloomington overnight)
Tuesday: Anchor (Bloomington overnight)
Wednesday: Anchor (Bloomington overnight)
Thursday: Princeton (overnight)
Friday: Princeton
Saturday-Sunday: Home for weekend
It’s interesting starting a new job at this point in my life. Generally I get really nervous about learning new things and doing new things, especially when there are such high expectations as they’ve indicated they have for me. Talk about intimidating! But after almost a week and a half, I’m still really confident about this descision. I know what I’m doing, I really do. I was in the field the first time today and fully sure on what to do or where to find the information if I didn’t.
If I look back on it I can’t tell you “That. That’s when I became an adult.” But I do know something for certain. And adult, I am. And I’m confident and secure in that.
I found out yesterday that I was formally offered a position with the Federal Deposit Insurance Company (FDIC). I, of course, accepted, being as a currently have no job and cannot live on Worker’s Compensation forever (seeing as I expect to get these fingers fixed gosh darn it…).
A Government job with government pay and benefits… I don’t think that’s really what I ever really expected. However, I’m excited. It seems like it will be quite a challenge. There is a lot of challenge involved and I don’t know what that will look like in a couple of years when I’m ready to start thinking about kids, however, I think it will be a good thing right now. I can get out of debt and even save up for a house and retirement if I budget carefully. I’m hopeful that the challenging environment and the job in general will be enough to keep me interested and dedicated enough to spend so much time away from home. I’ve kind of gotten used to being around more and seeing Donnie every day…
It also throws school off a little, the whole “lots of traveling thing.” When I started classes I didn’t even remember I had applied for this job in November… so 2 actual on-campus classes is going to be… interesting. We’ll see how it goes… hmmmm…
Cover
One new thing that I’ve been able to discover by dating Donn is the world of table-top role playing games. We’ve been playing White Wolf’s Changeling: the Lost from their World of Darkness Series for awhile now. The subtitle is “a game of beautiful madness” and it is definately a horror based role-playing game. But it’s fun. It’s been very enjoyable to step into the life of someone touched by magic and the “unseen world” for a few hours every other Saturday.
I grew up in a small town and we didn’t really have that group of kids who were D&Ders. Everything I knew about the stereotypes came from television, etc.
And it just was never something I got into in college either. I never knew anyone who played and the stereotype of a bunch of guys out of touch with reality who live in thier mother’s basements had tainted my view even if I would have known them…
But I guess we’ll try anything when we’re getting to know someone in a dating sense and I’m really glad I started up on this one because I’ve really gotten to know some amazingly fun people and I’ve really come into my own in role playing, which is weird because I’m usually not so open about acting or performing in front of others. Of course Loopy and I fight every time because I refuse to let him rule the world, but…
We’re going to start a game of forth edition D&D. I’m working on catching up on the basic concepts of D&D. It’s a new edition that everyone is learning, but I’m a bit behind on the basics of play and the different types of characters you can be, etc.
But the books are very well written and actually fun to read, so it’s been very fun.
How’s that for an eye-catching title?
I’m watching Life on Mars with Donnie and a soldier who is suffering from PTSD as well as having lost the use of both legs makes a rather poignient statement. The chief of police goes to tell this young man that his father (a police officer friend of the police-chief) has been killed. At the end of the conversation, after listening to the young man’s frustrations, the police-chief says “I’m sorry.” The young man responds: “Don’t be. I’ve heard that so many times it’s lost its meaning.”
I’ve been really struggling with one of my classes this semester: Novel and Psychoanalysis. In this class we have to view literature through the lense of the psychoanalysis Jacques Lacan. Lacan’s psychoanalytic topology is so anti my world-view that I’ve really be having trouble understanding what he’s saying because it seems so… un-understandable.
But one thing he does believe that I can see is that words leave us impotent because we can never fully say what we want. “All communication is mis-communication,” in Lacan’s view and it’s easy to see how. The mental image I see when you say “car” and the car that you see are different. This leads to inherent misunderstanding in communication.
“I’m sorry.” Bad things happen and we’re impotent to fully express our empathy; our sorrow; the sense that we all have, Christian or not, that something is wrong in this world, we weren’t MADE to be this way, to have these bad things happen, that we’re aliens in this world, created for something MORE.
abc family is currently having a “cinderella sunday” and they’re showing “a cinderella story” and “another cinderella story.” it makes on wonder about the longevity of such a story. i mean, really, how many stories follow the same plot line? so many cultures have an original cinderella type story. the oldest known version dates back to 1st century BC greco-egyptian girl rhodopis, though many claim even she had her roots with the 6th author aesop. since then she’s appeared as a fish-befriending servant in both chinese and philippian stories, had several variations in Scheherazade’s arabian nights, and appeared in stories in japan, korea and several european countries. the fairy-godmother, pumpkin, etc that we so love today evolved from the french tale, an adaptation of the earliest european example coming out of italy.
so this means the story has been being reborn over and over for 22-27 centuries. they say that there ARE no original stories left, that all stories are just retellings, combinations, adaptations, etc. but with the cinderella story there is no masking. cinderella stories are clearly cinderella stories. from books to movies to songs to about every culturally artistic medium, the general story of an oppressed girl making the most of her situation and making good in the end has survived cultural barriers and generational barriers to become one of the most well-known story archetypes of all times.
so what is it that makes this story so appealing? even in a culture and time when young girls are cautioned about the dangers of believing in fairy tales and the impossibilities of prince charmings and “happy ever after”, the general themes behind the story remain attractive to just about anyone with a heartbeat.
i have a confession. i can be a rather cynical person sometimes. case and point? I can be pretty snarky about the plethora of “christian” self-help books available (though not as much as some are). one of the common themes in a lot of women’s topics is the idea that we’re all princesses, daughters of a king, and waiting for our true prince in the form of Jesus.
i wonder if one of the reasons that we cling to the promises of cinderella’s story, though, isn’t our internal need to feel like we do belong to something great, that we are destined for something great, and somehow this… this life… that we’re in now is just a waiting period. a time when we’re slaves to our bodies and the distractions of this world. but that leads to emptiness and dispare because it’s not who we were created to be. and we can have our “ball moments” of happiness, where life seems to go our way and we’re the “belle of the ball” but the glass slipper will always fall and we’ll always be waiting for our next ball until we’ve finally reached the presence of our father and our prince.
but one of the characteristics that i love about a lot of the cinderella stories is cinderella’s overall demeanor and the fact that the character always seems to have a few down-and-out true blue friends to rely upon during the best and worst of times.
which, i think, says a lot about how we should be as we’re going through this life we weren’t made for. to have such a obedient servant’s nature and to cling to community as the support to get through the day; to be the oppressed, but never the depressed one in the story; to be the strong character, not the complainer; to remain optimistic when surrounded by pessimistic people, especially those who complain when they’re the ones who have the least to complain about.
maybe, it’s not such a bad thing to encourage children to emulate such an attitude: perseverance in oppression; remaining positive in negative situations; and finding joy and hope in seemingly hopeless situations? I don’t think cinderella is really the negative role model women’s lib. has tried to create her to be.
and i can definitely see why the story has had such staying power for so long.
My friend Chris did a year end review that I liked, so ht to him
(probably going to take much longer for me to type mine, however, as I still only have 2 usable fingers (and a thumb) on one hand… going for an MRI in an hour…)
- What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
-hmmm… rode in an ambulance - Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
- nope… don’t really do them… I figure if I want to change something, why wait for only once a year - Did anyone close to you give birth?
- Lots of people in the last few months: Jessie and Eddie, LeVeque’s, Miller’s, - Did anyone close to you die?
-for once this year, no - What countries did you visit?
- none - What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
- a job i love - What date(s) from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
- August 15th… johnna’s surgery; August 26th… 1st date w/ Donnie - What was your biggest achievement of the year?
- lol…not going insane - Did you suffer illness or injury?
- almost made it… fell down stairs at work and messed up some fingers… still waiting for tsts to determine how bad and if it’s perm. - What was the best thing you bought?
- I don’t think this counts as an actual purchase, but my new apt… I love it… - Whose behavior merited celebration?
- Johnna’s surgery going well - Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
- Sometimes my own; management at ISPFCU - Where did most of your money go?
- Supporting family through johnna’s cancer - What did you get really, really, really excited about?
- donnie - What song will always remind you of 2008?
- ??? - Compared to this time last year, are you:
Wiser? - someways, yes… others, prob. not
Healthier? – someways, yes… others, prob. not
Richer? - In pretty much every way that counts, yes. being jobless, not monetarily - What do you wish you’d done more of?
- saved - What do you wish you’d done less of?
- made decisions for the short term - How did you spend Christmas?
- christmas with family and donnie - Did you fall in love in 2008?
- yes - What was your favorite blog post that you wrote?
- oh, thsat requires too much reflection - What were your favorite TV programs?
- office, lost, secret life of the american teenager, bones, prision break - Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
- Umm…I can’t think of anyone I’ve ever said I hate. - What was the best book you read?
- breaking dawn - What was your greatest musical discovery?
- i bet bethany could answer this, but I can’t… though I did fall in love with ben fold’s effington. - What did you want and get?
- my own place that I had a chance to help pick out and furnish, decorate, etc. - What did you want and not get?
- a new job - What was your favorite film of this year?
- twilight… not a great film, but i still love the story - What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
- I turned 28 in october. donnie and i went to a movie - Which celebrity/public figure did you like the most?
- The biggest story was certainly Obama. There is a lot to like about him. Certainly some uncertainly but I hope for great things for our first African-American president. (this was chris’ answer and i agree) - How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
- lol/// black pants and ispfcu tops… - What kept you sane?
- ew, boys - Who did you miss?
- ew - Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
- I’m still learning i think… - What did you gain this year?
- perspective - What did you lose this year?
- another roommate to marriage - Who was the best new person you met?
- donnie - Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
- yeah, takes too much thought…
right now i’m trying to type with only one and a half hands. the middle knuckle of my ring finger on my left hand won’t bend. which is terribly inconvenient for things like s’s or w’s, etc.
i go back to the doctor tomorrow, but i’m worried that there might be some perminant damage. or at least enough damage that my typing speed and abilities are quite dibilitated. there are several opportunites open at express right now, but i have to retake all the computer tests and right now, i can’t do that. i’ve neither been released to do so nor have any actual ability to do so with the left part of my hand…
and doing my dishes or cleaning? yeah, that’s not been fun either… sheesh… i really appreciate more having two good hands…
i do think, however, as long as i can work it out monetarily and logistically, that I think I’m going to go back to get my teaching certificate at UIS. I have an appointment soon to talk about it with an advisor there…
I’m excited about that idea…
I just lost the post I’d been composing for the last 30 minutes! So I guess if you’re reading this you only get the last few thoughts of my 2 am ramblings…
EW recently mentioned that she thought the core root for some recent decisions and choices I’ve been making is the fear of being alone… Johnna’s ordeal has left me feeling vulnerable, not just with her, but with every relationship I have. So I try to cling on as hard as I can to something I think can be totally mine…
most insightful thing I’ve heard in a long time…
and she’s on a different continent.
Current Favorite Song
Gotta Be Somebody- Nickelback
This time I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life
The one we all dream of
But dreams just aren’t enough
So I´ll be waiting for the real thing.
I’ll know it by the feeling.
The moment when we´re meeting
Will play out like a scene straight off the silver screen
So I`ll be holdin’ my breath
Right up to the end
Until that moment when
I find the one that I’ll spend forever with
`Cause nobody wants to be the last one there.
‘Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There`s gotta be somebody for me like that.
`Cause nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
Somebody else that feels the same somewhere.
There`s gotta be somebody for me out there.
Tonight out on the street out in the moonlight
And damn it this feels too right
It´s just like Déjà Vu
Me standin’ here with you
So I´ll be holdin`my breath
Could this be the end?
Is it that moment when
I find the one that I’ll spend forever with?
‘Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
‘Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There´s gotta be somebody for me like that.
`Cause nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
Somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There`s gotta be somebody for me out there.
You can´t give up!
When you’re Lookin´ for a diamond in the rough
Because you never know when it shows up
Make sure you´re holdin` on
‘Cause it could be the one, the one you´re waiting on
‘Cause nobody wants to be the last one there.
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There’s gotta be somebody for me
Ohhhhhh.
Nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
Somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There `s gotta be somebody for me out there.
Nobody wants to be the last one there
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There’s gotta be somebody for me out there.
Just click on the following links and you’ll have your own band, etc.
1. Band Name: Random Wikipeda Link
2. Album Title: Random quote generator (take the last four words from the first quote on the page)
3. Album Art: Flickr Interesting Photo (pick one)
So following those rules, my incredible new album is…
Easiest Person to Fool by Scottish United Presbyterian Mission
I’ve discovered I’m an all or nothing girl. You may have known this about me, I don’t know, but I did not. I’ve recently come to this realization.
I’m not sure I really like it. If I had my druthers, I think I’d rather be a “pick and choose girl.” I’d rather be able to live in the comfort of the middle, in the ambiguity of oxymoron and in the ampatheatre of “open to interpretation” where responsibilities are few, truth is fluid and based on experience, and everything works in MY timing, the way I want it to work and everything working for me and my benefit.
Pshaw… I’m a selfish one aren’t I…
And it doesn’t ACTUALLY work for me. It makes me miserable. I’m a planner, I’m a dreamer, I’m goal oriented… when I try to live in the middle, not being all in or all out… that’s really where nothing lies… “All or nothing” is a misnomer… It should really be “All in or All out…”
Because the Nothing resides in the middle…
Upon reflecting on my last few months it occurred to me that I have a lot for which to be thankful.
It was a weird holiday, actually, being the first one I’ve ever experienced with a significant other. It cause a bit of distress initially with Johnna even pulling the “I have cancer!” card, but all in all it turned out fine. Lu was sick and her kids did thanksgiving with her a different day, so the morning was spent just dad and the kids. We had lunch around noon and it was amazing.
I then went and had lunch with Donnie’s family. It was the first time the family sat down and ate a Thanksgiving meal together since their mother died. I felt great to be included. It was fun, and Donnie’s sister, Tanya, made us go around and say what we were thankful for.
Which got me to thinking: I have a lot to be thankful for~
- my health
- Johnna’s recovery
- my “new” family with Dad and Lu’s wedding
- a job
- a home
- Donnie
- friends and family who love me
Really, what more does a girl need?
http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/12/02/airport.security/index.html
Behavioral screening? Picking up “emotional strain”? Frankly, if I’m an extremist (which, let’s face it, most terrorists are) I’ve probably been trained to remain calm and preparing for awhile.
BUT if I get a call that my mother’s in the hospital dying and get home right away, I DON’T want security stopping and doing a full-out psychological profile because I seemed “emotionally strained.”
Sheesh, just long lines and normal stressors can make me emotional in an airport. The “good guys” will be so busy sorting through the emotional mess of people who live in America these days that terrorists will waltz right onto those planes seemingly “normal!”
So the challenge:
1. List your top ten favorite films in no particular order.
2. If you’re tagged, post your list and tag 3-5 other people.
3. Link back to the person who tagged you.
4. Give a hat tip (HT) to Dan.
I happen to adore movies. Watching them as I do craft projects or having movie marathons is one of my favorite ways to relax and chill out. I think I’m the opposite of Bethany. I’ll have trouble choosing ten. Bethany already chose several of my favorites (Princess Bride, In Good Company, Sound of Music, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade), so that will give me a chance to include other ones.
Confessions before we begin: Though these facts might not be apparent in the list they remain true:
- I secretly adore those sappy, cliche “teen flicks.”
- I love “Barbie” cartoons. Love. Them.
- I also love Olsen-Twin movies. Don’t tell…
My “choosing right now, but is ever changing list”:
- 10 Things I Hate About You~ I had already fallen in love with Heath Ledger in the TV series Roar, so when I heard he was starring opposite Julia Stiles (an actress I love) in a modern day adaptation of The Taming of the Shrew, I was stoked. I love Kiss Me Kate (a musical adaptation starring Howard Keel in Ledger’s role… see next entry)… And they don’t disappoint. The dialogue is witty and the young actors pull it off well. I can watch this over and over, which is actually the criteria I used for making this list.
- Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, starring Howard Keel. (little known trivia? Keel was from Gillespie, IL… small town about 50 miles south of Springfield…). I Love this musical. It’s probably my favorite musical of all time. I know it’s goofy and totally anti-feminine, but I love it.
- LOTR Trilogy ~(I’m counting that as one… so there) Classic. I don’t know why anyone would disagree.
- White Christmas~ Truth be told, I can watch just about any Christmas movie (even the sappy Hallmark made-for-TV movies) any time of the year. But White Christmas is definately my favorite. Holiday Inn comes in a close second, but I like Danny Kaye better than I like Fred Astaire. I think he works better with Bing. White Christmas was my family’s “holiday classic.” I really don’t like a Christmas Story or National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. I used to say that I just don’t like the slap-stick way of treating Christmas, but I love Elf, so I can’t really use that excuse. I guess it just comes with what you grow up with in regards to Christmas movies. I hated White Christmas when I was younger. It was black and white and it didn’t really appeal to the kid in me. But now, as an adult, it reminds me of the kid in me, if that makes any sense at all. Besides, singing and dancing about Christmas? Hello. Who couldn’t love that?
- The Lion King~ Hated it as a youth. Much darker than I was used to with Princess movies. Love it as an adult. Besides the amazing music, it has some amazing basic life lessons about family, community, shirking responsibilities, living up to potential, etc.
- McLintock~ I’m not the biggest Western fan in the world, but in my family you kinda have to have some sort of like for them. This hilarious John Wayne flick co-staring Maureen O’Hare makes me smile and laugh every time I see it. Classic John Wayne, but with the humor to help me love it.
- Under the Tuscan Sun~ I’m choosing this as my “chick flick” for the list (though I debated between a lot including Legally Blonde, Sweet Home Alabama, Miss Congeniality…). I’m enjoying these chick flicks that involve older heroines who’ve gone through some hurdles in love more and more as I approach 30. Not really because I can relate all that well, but because they seem so much more realistic than the love stories of the “teen-pop” generation. Trust me, though I ADORE Twilight, I’m sure the relationships in this movie are MUCH more realistic
- Mean Girls~ Another “teen-flick” but one that’s not so bubble-gummy pop, like so many are. It really has great meaning behind it and it’s always interestign getting in conversations with teenage girls about the message.
- Pretty Woman~ I couldn’t exclude it. Typical “Cinderella” type story and what girl doesn’t love that. But what I really love about this one (besides the super cute suga-daddy made my Richard Gere) is the last line. She could have responded that “they live happily ever after” but instead shows the balance of that kind of love… how good they are for each other… “she saves him right back.”
- Live Free, Die Hard~ Again, one I debated about. Action/Adventure is my favorite category of movie (Romancing the Stone, Indiana Jones Series, Lethal Weapon Series, Star Wars (even though that’s cross-genre), Die Hard Series, Speed, True Lies etc…). But I really like Bruce Willis as the protagonist and I especially liked the pairing of him and Justin Long (The Mac Guy). I also liked the “fire sale” aspect of the story line.
Wow. That was hard. I wish I could of include a ton more! (And do you like how I sneaked a ton more in anyway?)
Hit to Bethany and Tag to Jo and Bethany B.
I’m sure other people have seen this before, but it really moved me. I’m definately someone who likes to have different artistic forms mixed, so interpretive dance with music almost always moves me…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA
I really wish the kind of struggle this girl goes through in this song only lasted the length of the song…
Everything Lyrics
Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That’s leading me
To the place where I find peace again.
You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose…you’re everything.
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won’t let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
Cause you’re all I want, You’re all I need
You’re everything,everything
You’re all I want your all I need
You’re everything, everything.
You’re all I want you’re all I need.
You’re everything, everything
You’re all I want you’re all I need, you’re everything, everything.
And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
Did I catch your attention?
22-year old selling her virginity to pay for graduate school? (hit to marko)
Okay, top 5 thoughts:
1. What? Did I read that right?
2. She’s waited 22 years and NOW she decides to SELL it?
3. Mmm… that’s definately playing to your assets…
4. I wonder if it would be getting as much press if she weren’t a very beautiful 22-year-old virgin
5. Why didn’t I think of that?
Yes, I know, I hate to admit that in the thoughts that raced through my brain in that initial moment, one of them was “there’ve been worse ideas…” I guess I’m glad that I didn’t think of it. Goes to show my mind doesn’t work that way, and I for one am happy it doesn’t. BUT it does work in such a way that I can understand the motivation behind her actions. After all, why is it that prostitution is the oldest profession? It’s because women realized a long time ago (with the help of men) that their bodies and their sexuality have a high value.
It makes me sad, though, to realize that, while she’s a virgin, her innocence is already lost. A girl who’s a virgin at 22 must have (and she admits) been romantic and idealistic enough to believe that her virginity was worth saving and cherishing. It’s sad to see her grow into a woman who has obviously been caloused into believing it’s only a commodity to be auctioned off.
For me, that’s the interesting aspect of this story. Where did the loss of innocence come in? I can understand that taking control of your sexuality is empowering (Marko, I think that’s empowering for anyone, male or female. Being able to harness and use your sexuality will always be empowering, we’re sexual beings). However, I don’t think she’s thought this all the way through. It may SEEM empowering, however a sellor is always indepted to a buyer, controlled by the buyer… ever heard “the customer is always right?” Without a demand, there’s no need for supply. The customer is always the one in the most control.
How do you convince someone, in the world in which we live today, that the true empowerment of sexuality is to embrace and own your own sexuality, not use it, abuse it, sell it, barter it, or buy someone elses? How, as youth ministers, do we explain to our students, especially girls, that sexuality is a precious gift, and while it might appear all glittery on the outside and “empowering” to use that to an apparent advantage, that is the worst way that we can cheapen that gift?
